So I am coming up on two weeks post injury. I am still in hospital and as such cocooned from the real world and all the struggles ahead of me.
If I could sum up the first two weeks in one word it would be painful. Nerve injuries are the worst pain-wise. It is relentless! This dead arm of mine fucking hurts – ALL THE TIME! It seems horribly unfair to have lost the use of the arm but be stuck with the pain. That sucks a big hairy pair of balls.
I am excited to be leaving hospital but also a little terrified to be going out into the world so different from when I left it.
The first two weeks have been all over the place mentally and physically. I am like:
“I’ll be fine” and start practising my hand writing with my left hand (I am right handed).
“Oh christ I can’t do this” (probably because my hand writing whilst perfectly legible was revolting compared to my old perfect script).
“I need to get my car modified so I can drive immediately.”
Sobbing hysteria – “I want my arm back”.
A brightened mood “I’ll write a blog!”.
More crying, gets out work computer and starts working and clearing inbox.
More crying, “fuck my arm is hurting!!!”
Falls asleep whilst visitors are chatting. You weren’t boring me I promise! I am just up to my eyeballs in endone.
That was just one day! 🙂
The hospital though is a safe refuge. There are many helpers at the touch of a button. Some poor boy had to pull my undies down so I could twinkle three nights in a row. Sorry Daryl. Yes I know, the hail damage is extensive. Wish I could blame that on the accident but unfortunately that lies squarely at the feet of Cadbury chocolate, banana bread and strawberry bullets.
So in 16 hours I must face the music, let’s hope it’s Motley Crüe kickstart my heart” playing.